Author: Minneke Kang

Posted on

I’m Sorry, Lord (Sequel to “I can do it, Lord”)

Oh Lord, I am so sorry
That I only thought of me
I wanted all the glory
But it’s You they need to see  

Today as I was reading
Of the branches and the vine
You said we must abide or fail
The plan and pow’r are Thine  

And now I see that all these things
That I had planned to do
Were useless, fruitless, empty, void
Of anything of You  

For when we do get in the way
And go out on our own
We nothing can accomplish
If we’re doing it alone

The devil, he was cast away
For wanting all the praise
So how could I conspire with him
By following his ways?  

It’s to the one and only God,
Through Jesus Christ our Saviour
Be glory, might and majesty
From now until forever   Amen.

Jude v. 25: “To the one only God, our Saviour through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory (splendor), majesty, might and dominion, and power and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen”

Posted on

I can do it, Lord

This was written, first and foremost, as a reminder to myself. How easy it is to stray into this trap…

Thank you Lord for giving me
This work that I can do
In fact I think that I don’t need 
To always bother You  

And sure, I know that it was You
That called me to this task
But surely you don’t want that I
For everything must ask  

In fact I have so many things 
That I have thought to do
Some programs, groups and ministries
That’re all to do with You

And now I find that I enjoy
This work so very much
I’d rather spend my time on this
Than be with You, as such

For I can do it on my own
Most probably, it’s best
If I just take initiative 
Yes, leave me to the rest

And if I were quite honest with You,
I’d like that it should be
That when I have done all this work
The glory goes to me

Posted on

Washing some Hospital Beds

Our son Levi had just turned one, and we were in David’s village in rural China celebrating Chinese New Year. One is an age where they love sitting in the dirt, touching everything, and putting everything in their mouth! Rural China is a place that Westerners often don’t go because of the hygiene standards, and other things… but it was where my husband was from, where his family lived, and I had come to love it. However, it wasn’t always an easy place to take our young kids! 

 

The day after Levi’s first birthday, he started vomiting and having diarrhea and a high fever. He continued like this for another day or two before we decided we had better take him to the local hospital in the town nearby. Being a westerner, I was nervous about taking him, since I was used to a different level of hygiene and medical care, especially when it came to my young children. However, he was admitted to the hospital after they diagnosed him with Rotavirus, and we were told he would need to stay there several days at least, until they could rehydrate him and his vomitting and diarrhea stopped. 
 
The room in the children’s ward was a small room with three hospital beds. At the back there was a window with a washing line, and a bathroom the size of a small closet. It was a squat toilet with no sink, but just a hose coming out of the wall for washing. There was no drinking water, toilet paper, or food provided, you had to provide your own or have family and friends bring it in. It was the middle of winter and there was no heating in the rooms, so we and our children had to stay rugged up in our winter jackets and thermals. The room was mopped once a day, and that was it: no wiping, sanitizing, scrubbing. There was no cot for sick babies, instead their mothers had to keep them on the hospital bed all day, especially when they were on a drip. Levi was an active one year old boy! How was I supposed to do that? I was by myself with Levi most of the time, as David had to stay with our two-year-old daughter Anna back in the village, away from the hospital, but they were able to visit once a day to bring food and supplies. His brothers and sisters occasionally came to visit too and brought homemade meals. At night there was little sleep… the light was almost always on, and the other people in the room would bathe their feverish kids at 3am, or talk loudly, or wake their kids to feed them, or have relatives coming in and out. Most days I would carry Levi through the ward for something to do and a change of scenery, and we would wave and smile at the other kids and their families. But after days of trying to keep this sick boy still and warm and fed and clean with little sleep, I was so tired, stressed, frustrated… so wrapped up in my own discomfort and “suffering”. I would pray most days “God, please just help Levi to get better so we can get out of here!” On the fourth (or fifth?) day, when we found out we still had to stay one more night, I was almost beside myself. 
 
As I was sitting there in all my self pity, thinking about another day of taking all my baby wipes and wiping down our bed and wiping all the things Levi would be touching, the Holy Spirit started prompting me… “Go and wipe down all the surfaces in the room. Everyone’s bed, everyone’s side table and chairs, everything.” Hmph. Oh, alright… by that time the family in the middle bed had gone, and it was just a young woman and her young child on the other bed. I’d had several conversations with the other people in the room when I could, but mostly they were busy with their children and talking amongst themselves in the local dialect, or watching the TV. But that morning, it was quiet, and just this woman and her baby were there. I felt a new surge of strength and resolve to be obedient and to serve instead of wallowing in my self-pity, and so I picked up the wipes and went over to her bed and asked if I could wipe down the headboard and railings for her. She nodded, and as I cleaned, tears rolled down her cheeks. We started chatting and she told me how her mother-in-law had scolded her and blamed her for their child’s sickness. She’d been told all the things she did wrong, and that she wasn’t a good mother. We chatted and I talked about how normal it is for kids to get sick! I told her that I thought she was a wonderful mother, just the mother that child needed, and it wasn’t her fault he was sick. More tears rolled down her cheek…
 
I wished I’d been listening to the Holy Spirit sooner…
Posted on

Unlearning some Independence

“Westerners are just so… independent!” I laughed in agreement with my Japanese friend and said, “Yes, it’s so true!” We were talking about friendships, parenting, and relating to life. She couldn’t understand how western mum’s were expected to be super-mums and figure out how to do everything on their own! “Saying you need help or you’re not coping seems to be a sign of weakness in your culture, but to us you would never be expected to “do-it-all”!” She was so right.
My husband used to tell me that same thing all the time: “You’re just so independent!”. I used to get defensive and tell him all the reasons why that was a good thing. I didn’t understand why, when he was looking for our babies clothes, he would always ask me “which drawer are his sweaters in again?” I would tell him “why don’t you just look? You know where all his clothes are kept!” One day I asked him about this. “Why is it that you always ask me questions that you could actually just solve yourself? If you want to know if we have any milk, why don’t you just look in the fridge yourself?” He said something very interesting that changed my perspective… “In Asian culture, we like helping each other, interacting with each other, and depending on each other, not always on ourselves. Does it frustrate you so much to have to interact with me just a little bit over these things? Isn’t the relationship more important to you than just having the problem solved efficiently?”
Wow. That got me thinking. Being an over-analyzer, I started analyzing myself, my ways of thinking and of doing things, and what my culture had taught me. Then I started thinking about what the bible had taught me about God. I thought of Jesus teaching us to pray even though God already knows our needs. I thought of Paul telling us to pray about all things… it seemed that communicating wasn’t something God saw as irritating or inefficient, or a sign of weakness! I thought of verses like Psalm 91:15 “When they call on me, I will answer. I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them”. It didn’t say “When they call on me, I will tell them to first do the research themselves, and then think of a way to sort it out, and then do their best to solve the problem alone.” I thought of the amount of times I came across verses like “Depend on Me, trust in Me, ask and you will receive, learn from Me, rest in Me, do not lean on your own understanding, cry out to Me, call on Me, walk with Me”. It seemed to be all about… relationship! I started to think about the way I was parenting… was I asking my kids to be too independent, when maybe they were created to need me more than I thought?
In our Western culture, we love independence and efficiency… we sleep train our babies so they can go to sleep without us, teach kids to self-soothe, tell them to just get back up if they hurt themselves, teach them not to expect sympathy, not to ask, not to bother us when we’re busy, we love Do-It-Yourself, Do-It-By-Yourself, Self-Help, and now we’re inventing ways of doing everything ourselves online so we don’t have to rely on a “person” because machines and automated services are just so much more… efficient! Of course, there are many things we must learn to do ourselves and take responsibility for… I sure don’t want to be spoon-feeding my kids when they’re 15!
But how about our emotional side? How about our children’s emotional side? Our spiritual needs? Our social needs? Jesus and the disciples lived in constant community. As far as I can tell, they shared almost everything together! Jesus also depended completely on His Heavenly Father. He said Himself that He does nothing and says nothing that the Father hasn’t given Him to say and do. What dependence! And what a great model for us! We need our Heavenly Father, and we need each other! In fact, I came across some of the “one another” scriptures in a book recently for living in community with each other as the body of Christ:
“Accept one another” (Rom 15:7), “agree with one another” (1Cor. 1:10; Phil. 4:2), “bear with one another” (Col. 3:13), “consider one another as better” (Phil. 2:3), “carry one another’s burdens” (Gal. 6:2), “offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” (1 Peter 4:9), “fellowship with one another” (1 John 1:7), “serve one another with your gifts” (1 Cor. 12:7; 1 Peter 4:10), “look after one another’s interests” (Phil. 2:4), “serve one another” (Gal. 5:13), and many, many more! He’s given us this wonderful body of Christ, and we need one another!
One of my favourite verses has come to be this one: 
 
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart

    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

 
What a load off my back! I don’t have to rely on my own strength, my own smarts, or my own guesses about what’s going to happen! He is never too busy for me, and whenever I need to just feel Him near, or need wisdom, or need…. anything!… He wants to hear from me, and He is always there. 
Posted on

About Me

Hey fellow travellers!

I’m excited to be on this journey together with you. I thought I’d just introduce a little about myself and my family so you can know more about us. I’m a New Zealander (Kiwi) by birth, and both my parents were born and raised in New Zealand. My Dad’s parents immigrated from Holland after WWII, and my Mum’s parents have an Irish heritage. I spent most of my time growing up in Australia and the U.S., but did spend some time growing up on my grandparents farm in Clevedon, New Zealand when I was in primary school. We lived in several places in the U.S., and my parents stayed there for many years after I left.

I studied Mandarin Chinese at university in Auckland, New Zealand before embarking on my adventures to Asia. I first went to South Korea before finally moving to Shenzhen, China to teach English. I knew God had called me to China, but I wasn’t sure exactly what for. As it turned out, He had a Chinese husband waiting for me there! My husband is from rural Guilin, Guangxi. We had our three children in Shenzhen and were involved in various church activities and outreach there before finally moving back to New Zealand in early 2019 after our third child was born.

I’ve always been a bit of a “wild child” – a risk taker, loving adventure, and anything that seemed exciting or dangerous! I think this has had a great impact on the journey God has led me on. Since I was young I was always climbing onto rooves, jumping out of tall trees, scaling pool fences, rock hopping along the edge of steep cliffs, motorcross riding in the Rocky Mountains with my Dad and brother… apparently my Nana told my Mum “just don’t look!” and I’m sure that saved her sanity! One day I remember my Mum telling me that the wild spirit God had given me was a good thing, but only if it was trained and “tamed”, like a wild horse that needed breaking in so it could be used for a purpose. At that time I thought “how boring!”, but it wasn’t until later when I came to know Christ that I realized being useful to Him was my deepest desire. He could use that wild adventurous spirit He had placed within me, as long as it was submitted to Him and in line with His Will. It has been (and still is) a long road to get to that place, but it’s the only road I want to be on now.

I love meeting others along The Way and hearing their stories! Everyone’s story is so unique and different, and yet the same themes seem to run through them: God’s faithfulness, His mercy, love, power, provision and protection… even His sense of humour! I hope to hear many of your stories through this blog, so please contact us with anything you’d like to share!

Our family currently attends The Chapel in Te Atatu Peninsula. Here’s a link to the website: www.thechapel.org.nz/ Here’s a link to the statement of beliefs: www.thechapel.org.nz/about-us/statement-of-beliefs/